一切都化為烏有

Sometimes i feel so indignant.. I really hope to be more appreciated one way or another..

I single-handedly ended all my hopes a few wks ago. My hope to have a happy ending. My hopes that i can be loved, protected etc. It all ended when i said 'let's break up'.

I kinda can feel how korean was feeling. What got into me? Was that impulse, or was it what i wanted all along? Idk. But i just know that it felt right at that point of time.

Truth is.. I miss him. I want him badly back by my side. I want to feel him once again. Yet now, everything is so virtual.. I feel so empty despite everything.

All I can feel is limitless misses and fatigue. Yes. Fatigue.

Tired of quarreling despite having so little time with each other; tired of him feeling jealous that I'm not prioritizing him; tired of just missing him.

Why make myself so miserable? Shouldnt a relationship bring you much joy instead? That's what convince me to give up.

Its simply not just 'i don't love him anymore' that easy. Oh well, if things are really that easy. Maybe i won't be crying at this time.. :( How i wish my bb can be nicer to me..

If only the only thing in his mind is not 'its either we are together or we aren't'. If only he can understand where I'm coming. If only he is not so sore about this whole thing, and let me see him again.. If only he knows that this blog exist.. If only if only.

Does he miss me? Does he still love me? Does he still want me back 1 and a half year later?

Oh man oh man. Idk hw long this is gonna last. But what i can confirm is, he is not going to know how i feel about everything.

對不起，如果事情可以變得更加簡單就好。

你的不諒解，我的身不由己

我們各種各種的分歧，其實已經讓事情變得無法挽回了。

我的思念，就讓它埋在我心底；

我的愛意，就讓它隨著時間的流逝吧。

既然今天是的轉變我要負起極大的責任，

我不會退縮，但，是全責嗎？

難道，你沒有該負責的地方？

其實，心灰意冷

我放棄了

放棄要討你歡心；放棄要讓你愉快

是主的力量，我才能承到今天

你又為了我做甚麼？

不管了。

Today would be the last day i'll be crying for you.

But i would always rmbr you. Always. Please be well. :')

Much love,

HY